Giving thanks. Some years, it’s easier to identify what I am thankful for than others. However, a crap storm has barraged my life the past few weeks, making each day a struggle. I’ve questioned my sanity, my goals, my writing, my perspectives, and even my character. I’ve been in survival mode. I’ve lost focus, specifically in my writing. Contemplating what I’m thankful for has been the last thing on my mind.
Yet, here I sit, pondering the notion of pushing aside the above-mentioned crap, and seeing the big picture. Right now, I’m thankful for Tina, @CTK1, for inviting me to participate in TweetsGiving. Perspective is precisely what I need.
What am I thankful for? Without a doubt, I’m thankful for the obvious blessings: health, family, friends… and my therapist. But this year, I’m most thankful for the lessons I’ve learned in my life, especially in my writing. Being open to those lessons, even in times of great sorrow and pain, is the key to growth and learning.
Through my words, I have moved people to tears, to laughter, and yes, to anger… anger directed at me for daring to write naked. I have apologized and defended, even taking down one blog post, but refusing to take down others. But in all of this, I owned when I was wrong, tried to rectify it, and most importantly, learned critical lessons.
Many of my Twitter writers felt my angst these past weeks. As I slowly peeled away the layers of pain from having censored myself, they rallied around me, sending hugs, kisses, and even chocolate tweets as salves. They encouraged me to write without fear and to stay true to my words. They provided me with perspective, compassion and love. They pulled off the duct tape I had placed across my mouth. I am forever thankful for my posse of insane writers who understand the pain of censorship the way no family member could.
I am thankful for the people who question not only my motives, but also me. I am thankful for the people who have honored my words, enjoyed them, and shared them with friends. I am thankful for having the ability to swell emotions in my readers’ hearts. I am even thankful for pissing them off, whether I am right or wrong. Above all, I am thankful people read my words. I am humbled by the power they have.
Writing naked is an enormous responsibility. Sometimes, one must be a mercenary… a hard lesson for a disease-to-pleaser like me.
So when you’re barraged with a crap storm of your own, remember to plug your nose and dive in. The sting will seep in your eyes, your nose, your throat, but feel it… let it in. Once you push past the pain, you will find light and lessons. Every crap storm has a lesson… if you dare to stick your head in deep enough. Above all, be thankful for the opportunity to grow.
Please click on the TweetsGiving donation link below and unleash your gratitude.
This post was created as part of a global groundswell of gratitude called TweetsGiving. In conjunction with 12For12K, this celebration, created by US nonprofit Epic Change is an experiment in social innovation that seeks to change the world through the power of gratitude.