save Karen… I beg you

When I started blogging, I made myself a simple promise to post every two weeks.   Doable, right?  Wrong.  Real life gets in the way.  Specifically, the current script we’re writing.   Oh, I’ve thought of at least half a dozen topics, but I can’t afford to miss this deadline.   Completed script or blog post?  The tipping scales have spoken.

While lamenting my blog constipation to Karen Quah, Penny Ash and Carrie Brozovic tonight, we came up with a super-silly-crazy-nutty-psycho idea:  a blog to create a new bio for Karen.

Why does Karen need a new bio?  Because hers sucks.  Specifically, it just says “writer.”  That’s it.  Writer.  Man, I could have written that.  What Karen needs is a bio defining her true glorious skill set.  This woman is a goddess.  A writing phenomenon who is stalked regularly… by none other than herself.

This is an official intervention to cure her bio boringness.

You don’t know Karen?  Have no fear.  No suggestion you leave could possibly be more boring than “writer.”  You have nothing to lose.  But if you’d like to get to know her, read the great post she wrote on Tyler Weaver’s Multi-hypenate site.   You’ll have all the ammo you need to kick her boring bio to the curb.

So grab your tequila and give it a shot.  You truly can’t fail.

P.S. Wow, I even made a post about Karen’s bio a pimp out for Tyler Weaver.  Maybe I’m the one who needs an intervention – #pimpaholic.

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18 thoughts on “save Karen… I beg you

  1. Intervention is not the only thing you need. Get my ugly photo off your blog! *groan* My suggestion: WRITERmwahahahaha… Seriously though Jeanne, I am deeply flattered & amused & still squirming & incredulous & embarrassed… All right. xo -karen

  2. Karen, you are absolutely gorgeous. But I now see a pattern… you want to hide. Well, there is no hiding from the chap-wearing cowgirls, woman! We will find the nitty gritty details of who you are and share them with the world in your shiny, new bio. Maybe we'll even sprinkle glitter on it. I'm thinking a private investigator might help 😉 Sheri, you're next… mwhahahaxo

  3. Haha, i like that Sheri's next. I like that very much. I like that so much I think we should do her first. Okay, I know, I'm hiding again. And I can't hide from you crazy cowgirls. So all right. Bring on the glitter. (oh, and I know I've been saying this all night but this time for real – Good Night)

  4. Thanks, Jeanne #pinkchapwearingcowgirldrinkstequilaMore Like #LovelyFriendandPeerKaren,You Loook Faaabulous. Seriously, I will help you. All hashtags – #GodfatherLovinChicainOz.Glad I can't be profiled – no picture – #sol(so outta luck). Can't wait to see the shiny bio – Wait till I get a hold of that hair – it will be all glittered up!Twas FUNCarrie

  5. let's get serious here, people… we have 160 chars for Karen's profile.We need a plan. Oh wait, this blog IS the plan. Damn.OK, @TimBrownson offered up his bio for your consideration, Karen: "Life Coach, NLP guy and author that swears a lot. World class farter that once nearly met the Queen. Thinks kangaroos are somewhat overrated."Are we getting warm?

  6. Hmmm, I'm thinking, I'm thinking. But what gives? Karen is a terrific writer so I'm shocked, stunned, devastated that she has such a plain Jane bio. It's an outrage! Karen, For Shame!

  7. Yes, Tina, an outrage… but one we, as her friends, will rectify.Let's start with a options for Karen to consider:goddess, stalker, director, playwright, chap-wearing psycho, glitter lover, not a good sport when watching tennis, supportive friend, devoted mother, young enough to be hot but old enough to be wise, or perhaps mafia-obsessed Godfather freakoidanything hitting the spot?

  8. Stalker? Life coach?Mafia-obsessed Godfather freakoid?World class farter that nearly met the queen?Tsk, tsk…And to you Tina, I say minimalism is key. My bio is simply Zen. Like tofu (sorry – cross-post-commenting here)Jeanne, you are my hero. These hit the spot:Young enough to be hot but old enough to be wise – LOVE LOVE LOVENot a good sport when watching tennis – LOVEAnd something about movements and activism and the end of bigotry and rock star politics?But then, you sorta don't get the impression I'm a writer. You see my dilemma? Plus I want something that reflects ModernDayStoryteller. Hm, fussy, aren't I?

  9. :peeks in: Am I late to another party?I'm drawing a blank. see… _________________________(pretty good for a blank, right? right?!)Writer. Swearer. Pseudo-Mafioso. Wisenheimer. ( Smoker? Joker? Midnight toker? )

  10. Uh…. Ok lemme think… *thinks*…………………Karen Quah is a Writer Extraordinaire of many forms, gives into peer pressure well, & has a crush on the koala next door. No, really………………….Writer Extraordinaire, Peer Pressure Savant. Likes to go cowtipping w/ the girls. Except w/ kangaroos. Apparently the violence is more fun………………….Mafia mom. Sometimes self-stalker. Cowtipping Hero of the Year, Peer Pressure Winner. Oh, also a writer. Like, plays and novels and stuff………………….That's all I can think of at the moment. I HOPE this HELPS. I am now OFF to continue the DRUDGERY that is REVISING.I wonder WTF you guys would come up with for ME. *is afeared*CHEERS!^_^

  11. 1) I got nothing.2) Karen Quah is a figment of Jeanne V B's imagination. Don't follow her, follow the horse. 3)What were we talking about?4) Did you need a bio or an obit? I have already forgotten.5) Karen is not a bot. If you follow her, she will follow you. She loves everyone. She writes. She drinks. She is. Nevermind the chaps.6) I am not word-counting. What if one felt left out?6) I got carli castellani, who does not blog or post on blogs, oh, wait, I just did —

  12. Brittany, I think you are the glitter we've been looking for. As for you Miss does-not-blog-or-post-on-blogs Carli, where have you been all this time?I particularly like idea of existing purely in realms of Jeanne's twisted mind. Sorta like a Being John Malkovich bio if you were living inside him. Scrap that. Anyway… What was I saying? I love the word-counting sensitive freak. And the sometimes self-stalker. I got nothing – that's cool too. Sheesh, can't decide. What do you think Jeanne, almighty whack job?

  13. So I realized I hadn't taken this bio-quest very seriously… here then are 2 more shots at rethinking/visioning Ms. Quah:Goddess-incarnate channeling a consortium of ascended master-writers. My works have been on the bestseller lists of several galaxies for 10 eons. Also trance-tweet daily stock and teeth-whitening tips.*or*I knit anagram quilts and crochet sudoku puzzles, when not teaching literary circus arts or distilling tequila in my backyard from a recipe that has been in our family for generations. (Okay, there is a 3rd: Karen Quah is in the writer's protection program. Her real identity cannot be revealed.)And thank you folks for helping me avoid packing. Maybe I will now go post on *everyone's* blog. 🙂

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